ramblings of an aimless mind

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Shopping for luurve…

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As I logged out of Yahoo mail this evening, I was served up with the Yahoo homepage, a corner of which was filled with the usual “Now Trending” list. My eyes flicked over the list and noticed something different. So out of the ordinary in fact, that it made a curious bugger like me actually click the link to find out.

It appears that ASDA (Wal Mart’s branch in the UK) has just launched a dating site. The tagline on the site is…wait for it…”Compare your baskets…find love”. I understand and appreciate that everyone and their uncle wants a piece of the mega business that is online dating, but “compare your baskets…find love”? That had me in absolute stitches.

After startling everyone around me, wiping away the tears and massaging my sides till the pain had died down, I got thinking about how ASDA can implement the dating site on the basis of shopping habits. It is none of my business, but it seemed a lot more interesting than trying to figure out how electrolytic solutions behave when in contact with semiconductors. So here is what I think…

A detailed listing of all purchased items would be extremely helpful. Can you imagine how useful it would be to know shopping habits before asking someone out? Someone who has never bought meat or alcohol will probably not look too kindly on an invitation to the sunday roast at a pub. Before asking “would you like to get a coffee?” it would be very useful to know what sort of coffee they usually drink. If it was one of the organic fair trade ones where a farmer in Colombia gets a house for each bag he sells, it is probably best to suggest a different beverage. If you usually read the Financial times and the Economist, it is probably best to stay away from the person who buys The Sun and Hello magazine, no matter how cute they look.

It is also imperative to have data on shopping habits available for the past 2-3 years at least, to help people separate the liars from the truthful. That way anyone claiming to “enjoy an occasional drink with friends” but buying five bottles of vodka every week will set the alarm bells ringing. Same goes for “athletic” people who buy size 68 trousers, people with “beautiful hair” who buy hair growth stimulants and “tall” women who buy six inch heels. The long term data storage is crucial to avoid rigging the system by doing one shop full of carrots and peas and organic green tea so as to appear extraordinary.

A section on books would be another important source of clues about potential success. A woman buying books titled “How to find your dream guy in 10 days” or “He may be fat and ugly, but he is yours” is probably going through a dry spell and may not resist an invitation for dinner too much. On the other hand, if the person who has caught your fancy has just bought books like “Why men are lying thieving cheating ba****ds” and “Self defence made easy: How to maim and cripple in three easy steps”, it may be advisable to delay approaching them for a while. Unfortunately, I have no clue what sort of clues women can get from men’s literary shopping though. A variation in the quantity of porn magazines perhaps(?)

Finally, they should integrate this system with the loyalty card scheme. That way when you hand over your loyalty card at the end of the shop, the cashier can tell you that your dream man/woman is now finishing their shop a couple of aisles down and maybe you should wander over. It would give a whole new meaning to “check out” counters.

It is possible that ASDA have stumbled onto something big. Every new idea draws some laughs the first time it is suggested. Now I will wait and watch with bated breath if this idea is a success or if it lands up being a “basket” case.

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Written by clueso

March 8, 2011 at 12:26 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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One Response

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  1. Interesting perspective! But wonder if the concept would work…If ASDA managed to catch your attention with a provoking ad campaign – they definitely atleast have succeeded in their first step šŸ™‚

    jollytalks

    March 8, 2011 at 10:06 pm


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